Where has God been in my life?

Where has God been in my life?

            James woke in the middle of the night to the sound of sirens. Coming out of his drowsiness, he smelled smoke and saw the orange glow coming from under the door.

            In his panic, he rushed for the door and poked his head out into the hallway from his studio apartment. The heat from the fire singed some of his hair before he could pull the door shut again.

            Back to the safety of his room, he went for the window of his tenth floor apartment. Upon opening the window to the fire escape he was jolted with the memory of taking down the fire escape.

            A few years ago James had decided that he was a self made man and had no need of anything that he couldn't provide for himself. He had worked too hard to let someone climb the fire escape ladder and let themselves into his apartment and steal his hard earned things.

            As he pondered his next actions of self-preservation, the fire burned through the top of his apartment door. He then quickly grabbed a chair and hammered his way through the wall to an adjacent apartment, to be completely stopped by the concrete firewall behind the sheetrock.

            Running back to the window, the only source of fresh air now, he was startled by a shadow coming up out of the night towards him. His father's face came into the light and reached his hand out towards his son. "Take my hand, I can save you."

            Reflexively he reached out for help and abruptly jerked back "No. Get away from me," he yelled.

            His father reached farther thru the window, "I am here to help you – come to me."

            I don't need your help. I don't need anything from you. You were never there for me," he said.

            "I was always there for you," his father replied. "I answered the phone both times you called, but when I knocked on your door you pretended you weren’t home.

            "When you needed an apartment near your work, I put your name at the top of the waiting list. When you needed a liver donation, I gave you part of my own as an anonymous donor.

            "If I wasn't there in the ways that you thought you wanted, I was there in the ways that you needed.

            "If I had let you cut off your arm when you were twelve, because you felt it wasn’t right, would that have proven to you that I loved you? If I had cleared away every obstacle and gave you every luxury, would that have made you stronger?

            "I am your father and I will always love you. I want to help you now. All you have to do is accept my help. I will be right here."

            "My father the fireman! I don't believe you," said James. "I don't need your help. I have always had to do everything myself while you were out playing hero. Since moving out, I have worked for my food, not you. I worked to pay for my home, not you. I have done everything for myself. I am as good as you are."

            "Son, you have been so obsessed with what you can do, that you were completely oblivious to anyone else in your life. You have never been alone, except where you have isolated yourself.

“It’s still your choice, even now, give me your hand so that I can help you – or die alone in this coffin that you made. I respect your choice because I love you so much.”

            “You just want to control me, that’s all you have ever wanted. I refuse to be your puppet, go away!” James yelled to his would be savior.

            Reluctantly the father pulled away from the window as it became completely engulfed in the flames. He watched as his beloved child plummeted to the finality of his own freewill.

            This story may seem Ludacris, but looking from God’s perspective, we often do the same thing. Why do we so often refuse the free gift from God? Is it because we are too embarrassed to accept handouts? Do we really have to earn everything for ourselves— even passage to heaven?

            God loves us and helps us in ways we will never know, yet because it is not the help we think we need we reject it. We think we know what we need, and that is what we expect, and nothing else will do.

          All that we really need is God, to be a friend, a teacher, and a savior. We do not deserve anything, we did not make ourselves, yet he chose to die in our place. Many hate him and reject him, but Jesus died for them as well. He let them choose their fate, but he still did the hard work— all of the work.